10 •  I See a Spider

It was mid-April. The mornings were still brisk, but the afternoons could become surprisingly hot. Since my first studio had no air conditioning, I often worked late into the evening when the temperature finally dropped. Sometimes I even worked through the entire night. This was one of those times.

I endured a marathon work session that stretched through the night, into the following morning, and well into the next warm afternoon. Two days with virtually no sleep. By then, I had reached complete exhaustion and collapsed onto the couch, intending to rest for just a few minutes.

As I lowered my head onto the cushion, I watched a spider make its way across the coffee table only inches from my face. I was far too tired to care. I simply closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

A short while later, I felt the faintest tug on my eyelid. It was an odd sensation unlike anything I had ever experienced. Curious, I slowly opened my eyes to see what was happening. To my amazement, the spider had spun a single strand of silk across the gap from the coffee table to my eyelid. Apparently, I had been sleeping as motionless as a piece of furniture.

Still exhausted, I casually waved my hand through the air to break the delicate thread. But it didn’t break. Instead, it tugged against my eyelid. Darn!

Now I actually had to get up.

Sleepily, I stumbled toward the bathroom with one eye closed and the other barely open.

Have you ever been so tired that you had to force your legs to move even though every other part of your body wanted nothing more than to crawl beneath a warm quilt, rest your head on a soft pillow, and disappear into sleep? That was exactly how I inched my way across the floor.

I shuffled into the bathroom, felt around for the light switch, and positioned myself in front of the mirror. Then I tilted my head back and slowly opened my eyes.

Ugh!   I froze.

There wasn’t just one spider.

There were several.  Spiders crawled across my face and through my hair. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut.

I’m only half awake, I told myself. I’m dreaming. I’m imagining this.

How could one tiny spider suddenly become several? And how could they be crawling across my face without me feeling them?

I took a slow breath, trying to calm myself. I still desperately wanted to go back to sleep, but I knew there was at least one real spider that needed to be dealt with.

I steadied myself, faced the mirror once again, and opened my eyes.

Fully this time.

Oh, my God!!

Not only were there countless spiders, but mosquitoes and other insects were swarming around my head. Some seemed to be spinning webs while others buzzed wildly through the air. The entire room appeared alive with crawling and flying creatures.

This time I may actually have screamed. I honestly don’t know. What I did know was that I had to wake up.  I tensed every muscle in my body, took several deep breaths, and repeated to myself, They’re not there. They’re not there. This is only a dream. Wake up, and everything will be fine. There’s only one spider. Just one.

With one final deep breath and every muscle clenched, I forced myself to wake, completely convinced that the insects surrounding me were nothing more than a vivid dream.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

And…

Oh, my God…

I was still lying sideways on the couch, the coffee table only inches from my face.

There wasn’t a spider in sight.

It had all been a dream.  Every bit of it.

It was the most realistic dream, or hallucinationI have ever experienced before or since. The sights, the sounds, the overwhelming certainty that it was all real were unlike anything I had ever known. Yet it had been a complete illusion.

To this day, I can’t help believing the experience was somehow connected to whatever haunted my first studio. I never actually saw the ghost during this episode, but it was the same studio and almost the same time of year as the incident surrounding the death that had occurred there. This felt like something different—as though whatever presence occupied that space had found another way to make itself known.

Perhaps it was a genuine poltergeist-like experience.

Or perhaps it was simply the product of a creative mind pushed beyond its limits by two days without sleep. Either explanation is possible.

It remains one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life. Of which there are many.